LET’S SAIL ON A CATAMARAN TO CATALINA FOR VALENTINE’S DAY: A CAT TALE

FROM ERIC & FROM JANSEN

Our adventure on the island of Catalina starts by catching a cute caterpillar and saving it from a wild herd of cattle. Of course we are careful of the diving catbirds that try to eat our cute caterpillar, so we order a miniature catacomb out of a catalog for it to live in and to keep it safe. We also add a catalyst so it might quickly change into an eye-catching butterfly.

Next we take with us our little catacomb that houses our cute caterpillar and we sit on a giant catapult that shoots us through the air. We put on our big square sunglasses so we won’t get cataracts from starring at the sun.

Eventually we land in the ghost town of Oxford, Texas where we walk thru a creepy cemetery and find the grave of Catherine Catamount. As we read about Catherine’s cataclysmic demise that’s tabulated on her tombstone, cold hands clamp down on our shoulders. Like scaredy-cats, we make a caterwaul sounding scream as we just know that we might be catty-cornered by a ghost, a zombie or maybe a cat-burgler.

Luckily for us it’s just a guy named Cap Catfur. Cap shows us how to play cat’s cradle with a mix of old catgut and colorful yarn. He also shows us some snapshots from his vacation in the Catskill Mountains. Since Cap is such a nice guy, he gives us the catgut and yarn to keep in our little catacomb that houses our cute caterpillar.

Quickly we take a bus to the closest movie theater to catch a matinee showing of our favorite film, The Cat from Outer Space, and order ourselves a big container of french fries smothered in catsup. After the movie we decide to visit a cathedral, but before we get there, a crazy cavalcade of cats hyped-up on catnip, pounce on us. We fall to the ground with a big mass of tiger-striped, calico, long-haired fur balls scratching and clawing us. Then accidently, we drop our little catacomb that houses our cute caterpillar and it breaks open. Just as I think to myself about this terrible catastrophe and that we may die a horrible death by these darn cats, a butterfly flies out of the little catacomb that was housing our cute caterpillar.

All of a sudden these kooky cats hopped off us and started to chase and jump after the butterfly, all the way down the street and far away from us. We sat there feeling categorically dumbfounded as our cute caterpillar that lived in a little catacomb turned into an eye-catching butterfly and saved our lives.

(Since I'm in a silly mood today, I thought I'd whip up this silly story as a go-along with today's title!)