Wednesday, November 19, 2008


How many of us blew up, shot up or chopped up our beloved Star Wars figures after we hit age ten? I would guess a good majority of kids participated in plastic action figure torture during those angst filled years of boredom. Sad, but true, as millions of helpless Star Wars action figures were victims from our cruelty and I was no different. I committed many heinous crimes against these 3 3/4" action figures with my pal Jeff.

This past summer the spawn of Jeff was excavating the front yard at Jeff’s childhood house looking for pieces and parts. Look what his kid found -

Threepio's leg, back of a Stormtrooper, an unknown leg and some type of sci-fi car.

I can hear the action figure police pulling up to my door with this incriminating evidence and since they’ll be knocking any moment, I better go down into the basement and pull out the rest.

For more proof of my deranged ways, take at look at these photos that I snapped back in the winter of 1980. We reenacted one of the many unseen battles of Hoth.

Ah, those were the days. . . roasting a Princess Leia in Bespin Gown over Sterno until she melted, tying poor Threepio to a oversized bottle rocket and watching Han Solo lose a battle to a Stanley heavy duty hammer. Truth be known, I was a big wimp when it came to destroying my own figures and thankfully Jeff’s figures filled that destructive void. I always kept my action figures safe at home in my toy box, natch.

Be sure to check out the flickr group Growing Up Star Wars to see more photos from the first Star Wars generation!


Wishbook said...

I wasn't well off enough (or detached enough from my possessions) to ever do anything like that to my Star Wars figures. Heck, I screwed one of Darth Vader's legs back on when my brother ripped it off and threw it away. heh heh.

Vlad said...

And people say I am sick and twisted!!!

Stephen said...

Ah, yes. Some of mine were victims of firecrackers, and others were launched into space by helium balloons (the trick was to figure out the minimum number of balloons needed to float the figure away). Good times.

Thanks for sharing this, Todd. I love the excavation tale, but those vintage photos are priceless.

(Yes, Vlad, you are sick and twisted. You'd probably try to suck their blood, if they had any!)

Mike Middleton said...

Hey Vlad, I think we should get Jeff and sneak until NC's house and bury his SW figures in the front yard!

Bubbashelby said...

My cousin and I did that with out Hotwheels and our little green army men. I remember taking a pick axe to a Hotwheel van - those things sure were well built back in the day!

As for the army men - firecrackers took most of them out. And fire.

K0dama said...

And to think I felt bad for chewing the antennae off of Greedo.

John Rozum said...

Not Sid's house!

Todd Franklin said...

Wishbook - Now the question is - Did you keep them into adulthood?

Vlad - Well, you are!!

Stephen - Wow, we never did the balloon thing, but I bet that was fun. I wonder if any unsuspecting kid had a Star Wars figure float down from the sky in your neighborhood. That would've been cool.

Mike - Hey now, no is touching my SW figs.

K0dama - How did it taste?

John - Hmm. . . Jeff did have a section of his yard that was littered with toy parts. But Jeff was much more fun loving than that evil Sid.